I have had that feeling lately that I get every so often that I just wish the days and weeks would just pass a little quicker. This difficult pregnancy has already taken too much out of me, and I just want it to be over! I hate feeling this way, it is utterly ungrateful of me.
About 3 years ago I had a little experience that has really helped me in times like these. I was spending the weekend with my parents. We were at a carnival at Camille's school. We had been there a while and I was impatient and tired and just wanted to go home and put Jolie down for bed and relax. I said as much to my dad. A few minutes later he turned to me and said, "This is life, we are living it!" He said it not to make me feel bad but to show me his perspective on living. All I know is that that conversation has really stuck with me. I always try to remember the feeling I felt after he said that. I just knew that he was right. I really needed to spend more time enjoying the moment I was in, not looking forward to later.
It has really helped me with the task of being a good, patient mother. I truly and honestly can say that almost everyday I spend with my children is a precious moment. More often then ever I can just sit and watch my children play and feel such a sense of satisfaction and contentment. I am so grateful for that (one among many) lesson my dad taught me.
I am struggling with it right now. I am impatient for little boy Cowan to come into our family. I am impatient for summer to come when we will be busy with fun summertime pool parties, beach days, and barbecues. I just need to take a deep breath, suck it up and enjoy these precious, precious moments with my sweet little girls and my funny, darling, handsome husband. They are what life is all about right?
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Slow Down
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C.S. Lewis "On Grief"
"Grief can be described as a deep sorrow or distress. There is a great hurt in grief, generally a feeling that no one else really understands, that no one else has ever suffered in quite this way or to quite this extent."
Aloha,
We are due in seven weeks, and I know she feels the same way you do. Aches, pains, stress, lack of concentration, lack of mobility, etc. Life is so full of pain. Many things that are so wonderful and fulfilling seem to come at such a great cost and heavy burden. And yet, we persevere because we really don't have any other choice. Or perhaps because we love the people around us and want to stick it out for them, or for the ones to come. Wow, I just impressed myself with that. :) Happy pregnancy.
C.S. Lewis "On Grief"
"One of the things that can help as you begin to crawl up from the worst depths of pain and suffering is to see how someone else has suffered and yet survived."
Don't worry, I'll be home in a few short weeks :)
thanks katie, I needed to hear that!
ditto on your post! thanks for writing that... i really need to apply that to my life right now. especially as i get bigger and bigger.
I have thought a lot about this since Naomi is already turning 1. Life is too short, I want to make the most of it while I am young and healthy. Who knows what the future holds...
Someday thats what life will be about for me, except for the husband part. But for now I am content with beating people up and making arrests at gun point.
I love that quote from your dad. I think I will make it my new motto (if that is okay)!
First off Congrats on a baby boy!! Thanks for sharing, life is really wonderful. I hope to make to the birthday party so see you next weekend.
That is such a great line to repeat to myself! Thanks, Katie (and your dad). Hang in there. I think it's particularly tough to be patient during pregnancy. Love to you.
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